Is Anyone Alive Out There?

I think one of the hardest parts about doing what I’m doing is sometimes it feels like I’m just talking into a void. People appear, disappear, buy your book, vanish again. Did they like it? Hate it? Did it make sense? Did it make them feel anything at all?

Questions will circle in my head non-stop if I let them. Doubt has a way of creeping in beside insecurity and fear. Fear that maybe I’m exposing myself too much or that people may be tired of hearing from me.

The thing is, I have learned that if I’m enjoying what I’m doing, the right people will find me.

The people that I am most drawn to in life are the ones that never try to fit perfectly into what they think they should be. The ones who follow their passions and are authentically themselves. Too many people do what they think they are supposed to do because they don’t want to look weird or have anyone question them. So when I see people taking risks and following whatever strange, beautiful thing lights them up inside, there’s something magnetic about it.

It’s hard to venture away from what’s expected of you. It’s scary and can be lonely, especially if you don’t have anyone other than yourself cheering you on. You can start to question if you are doing the right thing or if you are delusional, if anyone even cares.

And sometimes, you never find out who was listening.

However, coming to the realization that most people may not be paying any attention made me feel more confident. Yes, there are moments where it feels like I’m standing in an empty room just shouting to nobody. But on the other hand, it’s kind of liberating to feel like I can do whatever I want and people are too busy focusing on their own lives to even notice.

So I just keep doing what I’m doing. Writing blogs about things I’m thinking about without knowing if anyone reads them. Writing books about mirror magic and memories and who knows what else that I don’t know if anyone is going to like. Posting updates about books I’m reading while I’m in bed in my pajamas because I’m excited, even if people skip past them. I don’t worry as much anymore because I’m happy and I’m doing what I enjoy.

I hope if nothing else, maybe it will encourage someone else to step slightly outside of what feels safe or expected. To do something a little impractical, spontaneous or vulnerable. Something that makes their heart beat a little faster.

Until next time.

Xoxo

Teri